Just Some Shit!
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This is where we post just random shit. You never know what'll be up here so keep checkin' back and BEWARE!


 
  Letter to Jay from his Mom (Aunt Rosie)
Dear Jay,
 
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from
your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they
moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and turned the
lil' silver knob and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so
we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks
just like your brother....
Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him
cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your
other two friends were in back. They drowned because they
couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
 
Love,
Mom (Aunt Rosie)

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

He didn't inhale either...........
 

The top 10 rejection lines given by women.

    10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo playing geek in 'Deliverance')

    9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad.)

    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)

    7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

    6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)

    5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

    4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)

    3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

    2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

    1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and lay. It's the male perspective thing.)

LOL
  I did find this funny.

Kung Chow called his boss and said: "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, leg hurt, I not come work."

The boss says: "Kung Chow I really need you today. When I feel sick like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Kung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great, I be at work soon. You got nice house.

 

Granny loves you Robbie!


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